Reflections and Ramblings--Assistant Minister Pastor Dan Wilkie  

          It is strange really, how easily the simplest of words or actions can be misconstrued and taken totally opposite of the way they were intended.
          Recently, I was reminded of an incident that happened several years ago when I was working at the telephone company. A young woman who had transferred to the office here in Grand Junction and her husband had moved into a small apartment in Fruita. When Joe (not her husband’s real name) had to work out of town, she asked me if I could give her a ride back and forth to work since they shared one vehicle. Since I lived in Fruita and had to drive by the apartment on my way to and from work I was agreeable, and it would only be for a week or two. Unfortunately two weeks became a month.
          After about two weeks I began to notice a change in her. She had become extremely sad and withdrawn and I was becoming very concerned about her. The person who would practically talk my ear off now barely said anything at all as we made the 20-minute drive to work and home again. One day, after arriving at work, as we stood by the coffee machine in the back of the office with some other co-workers, I noticed that she was crying. Being the caring person I am I asked her if everything was all right. She said no, she was tired that her husband was gone all the time. With this I asked when he might be home again since she missed him so much.
          What happened next would baffle me for many months, that is, until we attended a team building and communications seminar together. She just began screaming at me, something about not asking personal questions or making personal comments. The co-workers who had heard me talking to her were as shocked by her reaction to these simple and caring questions as I was. Immediately, these co-workers went to our supervisor, who after calling me into her office and discussing the situation, suggested that I stop giving the woman rides to avoid anything that might appear improper, and when working around her in the office, make sure that someone else was always present. It was a very uncomfortable and difficult situation until the seminar I mentioned earlier.
          In this seminar one of the exercises we had to do involved trigger words and actions. We had to talk about words, phrases, actions, or combinations which brought out negative responses in us and to which we would react in ways that were less that helpful for productive communications. As we did these exercises, I noticed her looking at me very strangely, almost with tears in her eyes. During our afternoon break, she came up to me along with our manager, who was also attending the seminar, and apologized to me for reacting the way she had, and for the things she had said. It seems that she and her husband had begun divorce proceedings, and my caring response to her sadness was threatening because she had never had anyone, let alone a man, offer her any kind of support without an ulterior motive.
          How often do we react the same way to things here in the church, say in a board meeting, or in a class? If Christ calls us to live in community with one another, don’t we have a responsibility to become aware of the things that hamper our ability to communicate and work with one another? And aren’t we called to seek to be more loving and respectful?     Blessings, Dan

College Coffee and Conversation

          I have recently found out that several members of our congregation were not aware of my college outreach program called “Coffee and Conversation.” For the last month, every Monday evening from 7-9 Mary and I have met here at the church to host this fellowship group, directed towards college students, giving them a place to gather, share in coffee/tea/juice & goodies, visit and explore their faith with us if they are interested.
          Attendance has been extremely light, which we attribute mostly to the location. We are now looking for a location at the college where we can host this gathering. We will continue the program at the church until a more suitable location can be found. As things change we will be placing articles in future editions of the Tower Chimes and Sunday worship bulletins.
          I will be out of town October 1, and October 8 so there will be no program those two evenings, but we will resume October 15 as scheduled. Dan